Wrestlemania 21 Predictions
Even though I don't watch as much as I used to, this time of year is when I have to make some predictions for Wrestlemania. Why? I don't know...maybe to satisfy some need to bet no money and be right for every match, if that's possible. So, here are my predictions for Wrestlemania 21:
Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio
What a difference a year makes. Last year, Eddie Guerrero won the championship belt. This year, he's in a nothing match. Not that Mysterio isn't a great opponent, but Eddie has all but disappeared from the top tier. This match will be a good one, but it won't be the top of the card. Guerrero wins with help from Chavo, who brings him to the dark side.
Big Show vs. Akebono
A sumo match? This is going to stink up the joint. They've tried boxing. Didn't work. They've tried monster trucks. Didn't work. Arm wrestling. Didn't work. This won't work. Big Show wins the match. Or he loses after bodyslamming Akebono (which will probably destroy the ring)
Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme - Women's Championship Match
This is going to be a mess. Stratus, arguably the best female wrestler in the history of the WWE, against a former Man Show Juggy and current Playboy centerfold. Hemme isn't going to put on a five star match. Or four. Or three. Maybe a half star, which means Stratus will have to carry her for the match. Stratus should retain the title, but it won't happen. Hemme will win in order to continue promoting her Playboy issue. Victoria and Molly Holly must be wondering why they aren't getting a title shot. Jazz and Gail Kim must be wondering why they're not working at all.
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Christian, Edge, Chris Benoit, Shelton Benjamin, Kane, and Chris Jericho
Ouch. This one is going to hurt. Five guys who should be in this match are. One guy shouldn't be. Why put Kane in this match? He doesn't fit at all. Anyway, if the people putting the matches together are smart, they'd play off the real life situations going on and turn this into a major feud. Have Kane and Edge be the last two men in the ring, and Matt Hardy shows up to destroy Edge and Kane and take the title shot for himself. Won't happen. Edge gets the win.
Piper's Pit - With Stone Cold Steve Austin
Why? Maybe to prove that the WWE can get a drug addict and a drunk to work together. It's been done before and it called itself Velvet Revolver. Anyway, Piper will get a stunner.
Legend vs. Legend Killer - The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton
So, I guess they put this one together to make us think the Undertaker will finally lose at Wrestlemania. Not going to happen. Undertaker will be selling moves like Wendy's chili. That is, he isn't going to look weak for a second. There will be no passing of torches here. Orton will drop faster than Krispy Kreme stock prices.
Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels
Match of the night. Possibly match of the year. Angle wanted Bret Hart, but since he's unavailable, he gets Bret's worst enemy. Michaels has looked good in recent matches, and he will make Angle work hard in this match. This one is going to be a tough one to call. I'll say Angle gets the win AND we see a face/heel turn like the Bret Hart/Steve Austin classic match.
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena - WWE Championship
Two guys who are wonders on the mic and horrible in the ring. Ugh. Cena wins. That's all I can say.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Dave Batista - WWE Heavyweight Championship
It's not going to be the match of the night, but it might be close. As much as I can't stand HHH, he does put on a good match for the big shows. I expect this one to be a bloody affair, with HHH doing most, if not all, of the bleeding. Batista is a monster and he'll make this match look good. I expect Batista to win the match and Ric Flair will possibly be the reason why. I just hope Batista doesn't drop the title a month later to HHH...he can do without the gold for a while, can't he?
There hasn't been any announcement of matches for the tag team titles or the intercontinental title. Can't see why. No Snitsky. No Heidenreich. Barely any cruiserweights. I think I'll be saving my money. I can read about it on the net, anyway. If you're paying, enjoy.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio
What a difference a year makes. Last year, Eddie Guerrero won the championship belt. This year, he's in a nothing match. Not that Mysterio isn't a great opponent, but Eddie has all but disappeared from the top tier. This match will be a good one, but it won't be the top of the card. Guerrero wins with help from Chavo, who brings him to the dark side.
Big Show vs. Akebono
A sumo match? This is going to stink up the joint. They've tried boxing. Didn't work. They've tried monster trucks. Didn't work. Arm wrestling. Didn't work. This won't work. Big Show wins the match. Or he loses after bodyslamming Akebono (which will probably destroy the ring)
Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme - Women's Championship Match
This is going to be a mess. Stratus, arguably the best female wrestler in the history of the WWE, against a former Man Show Juggy and current Playboy centerfold. Hemme isn't going to put on a five star match. Or four. Or three. Maybe a half star, which means Stratus will have to carry her for the match. Stratus should retain the title, but it won't happen. Hemme will win in order to continue promoting her Playboy issue. Victoria and Molly Holly must be wondering why they aren't getting a title shot. Jazz and Gail Kim must be wondering why they're not working at all.
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Christian, Edge, Chris Benoit, Shelton Benjamin, Kane, and Chris Jericho
Ouch. This one is going to hurt. Five guys who should be in this match are. One guy shouldn't be. Why put Kane in this match? He doesn't fit at all. Anyway, if the people putting the matches together are smart, they'd play off the real life situations going on and turn this into a major feud. Have Kane and Edge be the last two men in the ring, and Matt Hardy shows up to destroy Edge and Kane and take the title shot for himself. Won't happen. Edge gets the win.
Piper's Pit - With Stone Cold Steve Austin
Why? Maybe to prove that the WWE can get a drug addict and a drunk to work together. It's been done before and it called itself Velvet Revolver. Anyway, Piper will get a stunner.
Legend vs. Legend Killer - The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton
So, I guess they put this one together to make us think the Undertaker will finally lose at Wrestlemania. Not going to happen. Undertaker will be selling moves like Wendy's chili. That is, he isn't going to look weak for a second. There will be no passing of torches here. Orton will drop faster than Krispy Kreme stock prices.
Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels
Match of the night. Possibly match of the year. Angle wanted Bret Hart, but since he's unavailable, he gets Bret's worst enemy. Michaels has looked good in recent matches, and he will make Angle work hard in this match. This one is going to be a tough one to call. I'll say Angle gets the win AND we see a face/heel turn like the Bret Hart/Steve Austin classic match.
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena - WWE Championship
Two guys who are wonders on the mic and horrible in the ring. Ugh. Cena wins. That's all I can say.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Dave Batista - WWE Heavyweight Championship
It's not going to be the match of the night, but it might be close. As much as I can't stand HHH, he does put on a good match for the big shows. I expect this one to be a bloody affair, with HHH doing most, if not all, of the bleeding. Batista is a monster and he'll make this match look good. I expect Batista to win the match and Ric Flair will possibly be the reason why. I just hope Batista doesn't drop the title a month later to HHH...he can do without the gold for a while, can't he?
There hasn't been any announcement of matches for the tag team titles or the intercontinental title. Can't see why. No Snitsky. No Heidenreich. Barely any cruiserweights. I think I'll be saving my money. I can read about it on the net, anyway. If you're paying, enjoy.
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